Today I'm totally really sick..
I don't know what is my wrong for being love-to-sleep in the car. When I sat in the car for too long, automatically I will sleep. As I carrying so many things on my left and right hands, not on purposely I knock my mum's car, the Myvi's butt. I said sorry to you mum but you still can't accept it. Perhaps you are under stress.
'Forgive and Forget' is what's blinking on my mind now.
Letter to Dad:
When it comes to things that unrelated to my studies, please don't ever say it. You are not going to inspire me but to take me down-to-hell in my studies or my results. I tried my best in getting good results and it will be not be only good but great results. You know why? Because I want to be good and better than somebody else. I have plan for myself okay and I know you want my future to be good as well. As I thought.
Why every time when there is a quarrel upon me, you like or love to say "Ahh! No need to study la you! Fail la you" and I was like "What?!". I remembered during my time in KL, I had a big quarrel with sister and you said the same thing as well with additional 'Come back! No need to study liao!". The truth is, do you really want me to stop my studies or get bad results? Is that your dream or your hope upon me? Or you want me to have the same kind of results in KL? Are you happy after saying those words? I had enough for my bad results during my course in KL dad.. I had enough for it.
I know I'm the stupiest daughter of all yours. I'm the only one who haven't finish my studies and all my sisters had worked and have their own money or salaries. So what? The future is not you who can decide but God. You will never know what comes tomorrow. Yes, you may know tomorrow is what day.. Sunday or Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday or even Saturday. Yes, everybody will know that not only you. Even a little tiny ant will know that. You may not know was the end of the world tomorrow or.. no more 'or' for that. No idea.
My eyes now are totally same as the cartoon named 'Pucca' the china doll with 3F. Fat-Fair-Face. Cried and cried I had enough too.
10 comments:
Life is tough. So, hang on there and never give up
HI Chloe, sorry to hear about this.. let me share my opinion, as a mother to 3 teenagers, i too have a fair share of how is it like.. sometimes my kids say i dont understand them, sometimes i also dont know how to become a mother, what is the best way to tackle this or that situation?? now i finally realise, not every parent is correct, we are still learning to be one, or perhaps, we need our kids to teach us too.. but above all these, no matter how, i m sure parents do love their kids...and i m sure u love them too, deeply too..
frankly, i m still learning to be a mother :)
dont think like that.. im sure someday u cant show to your family what youve made of :)
@BorneoFalcon:
Thanks for your comment.. I will never give up because I have my own plans. But somehow, they don't understand.. maybe i'm too quite in home that i don't tell them?
When there are things that happened in the house, I always keep quite. Even if for example, somebody spilt the milk in the fidge that nobody clean it I also diam diam clean. I don't think is my wrong for being silent because sometimes I love to observe first. What you think?
@Reana:
Thanks for your comment Reana. Because you are a mother too and maybe your comment will let me open my big heart as well.
When they are angry of course they will scold us. But when they scold us, why must only think of the bad things and not the good? I'm not all bad right? If they think of the bad, surely they will angry and angry more then scold more. But if they angry and think of somehow we did something good, then nothing will get worst..
@Dosz:
Thanks for your comment. I also hope that some day they will understand.. I've been trying my best to change my attitude. Yes, I get angry easily and fast. I'm not tempered but scientifically, ...
Thanks all of you..
hang in there chloe. just pray to God, He knows what's the best for us. :)
Thanks Vianly..
I will continue pray to God!
Chill my friend...tmr will be a better day...time heals, trust me!
Quote from Master Shifu:
"Yesterday is the past, we called it History. Tomorrow is the future, we called mystery... but today is a GIFT, that's why we call ie PRESENT"
Cherish everyday in your life! You'll be more than happy with you staying in positive thinking!
Cheers!
Thanks Desmond..
Yesterday I just have my mind thinking about the same Quote as you said.. haha.. because I just finish watching that movie in VCD.
Master Wugui aka Oogway it wrote there.
hi chloe, i know how you feel...
in my humble opinion, what your dad told you about you and your studies are not really right, but it maybe is his way of talking?
but one thing i want to stress here is about your second last paragraph,where you said "The future is not you who can decide but God."
i beg to differ, because to me the future is in your hands. whatever you do now will affect tomorrow. just like not throwing the rubbish in your kitchen tonight will make you kitchen go stinky tomorrow.
so instead of nagging about how you cannot improve your results and that you are the black sheep in the family, go do something and prove yourself and then you can let your dad know how well off u can be. i am sure you dad will be very happy to see you working hard for the goals you set got yourself.
it's juzt my piece of mind and something for you to pounder upon, hope you can take it easily...
stay strong!! you can do it if you want to!~ all the best~ ^^
Thanks Gregorule for your comment.
You know?
Let's say, If Today he know i'm good and he happy about it and happy for me but still, he will non stop saying those words the next day or few hours.
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